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Afraid of Fear
Fear has a way of crippling and keeping us right we where we are with just a whisper.
“Easy now, you’ve gone far enough.”
“Watch out.”
“Don’t risk it.”
“Be careful.”
“Stay where you are.”
“What if [ fill in the blank ]?”
“Play it safe.”
Playing it safe rarely is.
President Kennedy warned us to fear nothing but “fear itself” because it has the potential to render us less effective than we were before it arrived. So where does that leave us?
Know Thy Fear
Understanding our fear can be like flipping on a light-switch, resulting in an “ah ha” moment of enlightenment that reveals the lack of substance behind the scare.
Perhaps that’s what Marie Curie intended when she said, “Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.” But sometimes knowledge just isn’t enough.
Understanding Fear is Not the Same as Facing It
There are plenty of socially anxious people who understand their phobia all too well but are unable face it or change. Curie’s axiom is incomplete. Instead, it should be, “Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood, faced, and conquered.”
Too often there’s a Gap between the knowing and the doing.
If your house was on fire, you wouldn’t care so much about the firemen’s understanding of their fear as you would their response to it. Similarly, knowing what you’re afraid of is fine, but doing something anyway is always better. Instead of sitting on that information and hoping your fear will just head the other direction, you must face it–head on.
Face Thy Fear
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Risk, the calculated kind anyway, is good. It means we’re alive and betting on opportunity. It implies that we’re not through with life. Our life, that is. And come hell or high water, we are going forward to make something better of what’s before us.
Fear can’t reside in a mindset like this. For it to survive, it requires something to feed upon–our doubt, hesitation, and misused imagination. Most of all, it counts on our passivity.
Turning the light on and seeing things for what they are will certainly help us square off with this challenger but the most important element is action. That’s the real thing that propels us past our fear.
“Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.” ~ Brendan Francis
Most people avoid fear rather than face it, as if it were an unsolicited sales interruption who will just give up after a few knocks at the door and move along to some other sucker. Fear doesn’t play that game. He’s a tenacious opponent. In fact, if you don’t open the door, he’ll just camp out on your front lawn and wait. Sooner or later he’ll get his moment to peddle his wares.
Get on with it.
Turn on the light.
Open the door.
Hold your head up and step forward.
Tame Thy Fear
Like a barking dog, fear can keep us up at night, that is until we tame it. Fear is the barking dog behind the fence. It sounds ferocious but it isn’t. In reality, it’s making all that noise because it’s nervous. But when you understand the creature, you can face it and tame it. Be the “fear whisper.”
